Got My Mind Set On You

Today I've been feeling inspiration from George Harrison's "Got My Mind Set On You." I don't know exactly what he's talking about in the song, but it certainly is applicable to my weight loss journey.

The title is self-explanatory--I do have my mind set on weight loss and getting back into fighting shape.

The question we must ask before any journey

It's going to take money, a whole lot of spending money...to do it right

Yes. I need Weight Watchers. I need the meetings, the leader coaching, the eTools with access to the recipes. It's expensive for the full package, it is. But I've tried to go it alone, or with eTools only, and it doesn't work for me. I need a great deal of support and check-ins with others who are feeling and doing the same thing so I don't just look around Wegman's at everyone grabbing food from the hot bar and cupcakes and think, "Oh yes, I'm one of them."

I treat Weight Watchers meetings very much like AA. And now with my coach, it's like I have a sponsor too. With all the research showing that food addiction, and the changes foods make in your brain, is very similar to drug and alcohol addiction, this is appropriate.

I am a Weight Watcher. And Weight Watchers works! If you work the plan.

It's going to take time, a whole lot of precious time., it's going to take patience and time...to do it right

This is a biggie. I think I may have done myself a disservice after my first weight loss, when I reflected back in an essay, that my weight loss was easy. But it was, then. I still look back on that year of 100-pound loss and think, zip, off the weight went and I never looked back. I even spent 8 weeks in England in the middle of that year and maintained during that time.

Maybe it's because I was only 21 and walking around a college campus all day instead of sitting at a desk. Maybe my body lost it more easily.

But truly, it was mental. It was mentally easy. And I'm still not exactly sure why it's mentally hard this time. I have thoughts about it.

It's a high, hard climb

I need to remember that even though it felt easy, it still TOOK A YEAR to lose 100 pounds. A year. Of dedicated, points-tracking work. Of making good choices, like only eating out at Subway and only choosing the healthy subs. A whole year. A year may not have seemed like a long time to that 21-year-old me. But now, when I know a year is what is between me having a son in daycare and a son in kindergarten? A year is eternity, a span of time I wouldn't wish to rush by.

Patience--Right now, I feel an impatience that I didn't the first go round, and that likely is because I've done this already. I scream in my mind as I yo-yo 5 pounds at a high weight I'VE DONE THIS ALREADY!! I get frustrated with myself that I have to do this AGAIN.

But, I do. There's no going around it. There's no tracking points for a week and being back at goal. I know I don't see this as "real weight loss." It's strange, but that's how I feel. I have to accept, this is my body. It isn't water weight or baby weight or fake weight, it is weight. And I need to lose real, actual weight.

So, patience and time. Patience with myself and with the process. And time for it to work and big change to come.

And this time I know it's real, the feeling that I feel

After my constant rejoining and falling off the WW wagon over the past few years, I do feel a difference in my mindset this time. As I was getting out my summer clothes, most of which I knew would be tight at this current weight (and they're the larger sizes), I was like goddammit, I will DO THIS. I'm in it to win it.

I know if I put my mind to it, I know that I really can do it

If ever there was a mantra, it's this. If I put my mind to it, I can do it.

Thanks, George--I needed this.